Thursday, March 8, 2012

New iMproved iPad

iPad
Yet Another Apple iProduct.


The Internet (NNN)--Apple launched its latest version of the iPad on Wednesday, armed with a Full HD display with 3.1 million pixels, SIRI and a supercharged new processor. It'll be current until the new iPad 4 is launched in October 2012.

What The HELL Do You Think?


Twit Poster   Early Adapter of Overpriced Crap
“I’ve got the iPod Touch, iMac, iPhone4s, new iPad3 and now iDeepInDebt."


Donald Plain   Accountant
 “The new screen is so good it makes the skin of porn stars look like real skin. Stretch marks, cellulite, plastic surgury scars. Just awful!"

Wilma Loon   Rotary Dialer Champion
“My Macintosh II works fine with my Laser Writer. It prints 2 pages per minute of text, with paragraph indents!”

Slim Burners Lee   MacWorld Editor In Chief
“Who the fuck is Tim Cook? Where the hell is Steve Jobs?”




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Monday, March 5, 2012

Well, what the HELL do you readers think?


(Now I'm looking for readers to post comments at the bottom of this beta post.)

4 Celeb Diets. 
If they’re doing it, shouldn’t you? 
 
Let's face it: Hollywood makes losing weight look easy. Especially with all those avacado dip enemas being used for the red carpet season. But if shedding a few pounds is on your sphincter's to-do list,  follow in the footsteps of your favorite celebs. 
Here are 4 popular celebrity diets to use all at once: 
 
1. Paleo Diet 
Megan Fox is rumored to have swallowed this diet, also called the Cavewoman Diet. On the Paleo Diet, you're supposed to eat like your ancestors, which means infrequently. Frequent bouts of starvation kept the population in check. 
What's missing? 
Food. 
 
2. Dukan Diet 
Dubbed "the Put Up Your Dukes" this diet reportedly has Gisele Bundchen and Jennifer Lopez among its brainless fans. On the Dukan Diet you only eat protein that leans, plus a small amount (3.5 pounds) of oat bran each day, and drink 6 to 8 glasses of water a day. There are some pros to the diet, though: Dr. Dukan incorporates 20 to 30 minutes of vigorous exercise each day using your tongue as a means of propulsion. 
What's missing? 
There's no mention of portion sizes. Or shapes. Or colors. 
 
3. Raw Food Diet 
Demi Moore, Amanda Seyfried and Uma Thurman are all obsolete celeb fans of this diet. A raw-food diet is just that-you eat raw food. No animal-based products like meat, fish, eggs, poultry or Dairy Queen. There are a small number of studies that suggest there may be some health benefits to a raw-food diet, though: You live longer than not eating. 
What's missing? 
Taste. 
 
4. 17-Day Diet  
The 17-Day Diet is apparently backed by Dr. Phil. And unlike what its name implies, the entire diet isn't 17 days long. And Dr. Phil only has a doctorate in Shrinkology. Not Dietology. Overall, the 17-Day Diet is strict and the total daily calorie allotment from the meal plans provided is too low for some people, particularly if you breathe. 
What's missing?
Dairy, which is how most of us get our ice cream and cheez-whiz. The 17-Day Diet is also low in carbohydrates-and there's research that shows limiting or eliminating carbs impacts your, uh, gimme a minute... memory and your, your...uh.... mood, goddamnit! 
 
The Bottom Line: 
Celebs are fans of these diets because they are paid endorsors. You’ll lose the weight because you're eating fewer calories.  One common sense diet is my Bacon and Ice Cream diet. 2,100 scrumptious calories a day of foods you dream about having sex with when you’re on other diets. 
 
For details go to www.baconicecreamdiet.com 


Saturday, March 3, 2012

Obama has phone sex with hooker.


Obama calls Limbaugh’s ‘slut’.

The Internet (NNN)--President Obama called Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke on Friday defending her in the face of conservative radio icon Rush Limbaugh's "reprehensible personal and crude" attacks on her.
Limbaugh branded Fluke a "slut" and "prostitute" for her support of women having access to birth control.

What The HELL Do You Think?


Wall Ahallik   Facebooker
“I saw Limbaugh's wall. He needs access to girth control."


Dem O. Kratt   Paid Political Hack
 “ Does Michelle know he called up a hooker?"

Wanton Lust   Madame, Charlotte, S. C.,
“Did he ask Ms. Fluke to come to the democratic convention? I have a shortage of "girls".”

Lone Lee Guy   Ultra Conservative Liberal
“Two words on how to use less contraceptives: oral sex.”




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Friday, March 2, 2012

Storms Sow Fear And Panic Before They Hit.


New storms threaten Midwest.

The Internet (NNN)-- After a day of recovery for battered regions of the Midwest and South, a line of storms stretching from Illinois to Louisiana will bring the threat of tornadoes and severe weather Friday, forecasters said.

What The HELL Do You Think?



Tor Nadoh   EF4 upgrading to EF5
"I'm gonna rip the skin of your fucking face! Then lift your home up, off its wheels, blow it to town and smash it on the whore house!"


Lite Ning   Punk Electrons
“Run, hide under a tree. I'm still shooting a fucking bolt up your quivering...mutha'...fuckin'...ass!"



Wind E. Stormm   Blow Hard
“Look what I did yesterday! Today I'm gonna rip the roof off your McMansion. Or pay me $100,000 in non-sequential $20 bills, left in a loose pile out on the front lawn."


Puff Laddy  Gang Banger
“ IMO BUSTA CAP INYO SPHINCTER UNTIL FECES EVACUATE IT!...Where my posse at?...Ira? Herb? Jacob?...Guys?!”



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Thursday, March 1, 2012

"Jeremy Lin. Change I Can Believe In."--Obama

Obama on Lin-sanity: 'I've Been on the Jeremy Lin Bandwagon Before You'.

The Internet (NNN)--Education Secretary Arne Duncan, who plays basketball with Obama, told him about the breakout star. 
"Arne and I were playing and he said 'I'm telling you, we've got this terrific guard named Jeremy Lin at Harvard,'" Obama said. Duncan is a former captain of the Harvard team, Lin's alma mater.
Obviously, Obama will say anything to get re-elected. Like the truth.


Webb Ahallik   Pinterest Lin-terest
“To have Lin play more, Obama should use a drone to reinjure Carmelo Anthony."

Lieall Detime   Political Animal
 “Lin started Obama’s huge Super Pac "You Give Me “Contributions” I Give You Ear Marks" when he was a student at Harvard. Take that Zuckerberg!"

Vi Agra   Diversity Practioner
“I know how to ease their racial tensions.”

Playne Vanillah  Spark Plug Puller
“ I’m not surprised. Two smart fellers. Both graduates of Hogwarts.”






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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Windows 8 fails to Copy and Paste iPad2.


Microsoft Clones iPad 2 Software, Hails It As A Breakthrough Called Windows 8.


Internet (NNN)-- An obvious “Homage” to Steven Jobs and Apple, the Gates clonopoly has churned out yet another Windows disaster. What will Billy clone next? Probably the upcoming release of the iPad 3 in 2 weeks. It’ll keep Microsoft’s reverse engineering staff busy for years.

We get thoughts from early Windows 8 Beta users.

What the Hell do you think?


Skool Skippur   Facebook Freak
“Windows 8 lets me draw a picture for my password, it's so much easier than learning my numbers and letters.”

Buck Chuck   Macho Macho Man
 “It comes with easy to use "charms," which include Search, Share, Porn and Hook Up Tonight."

Busty Milf   Male Widget
“The colors and shapes are pretty! What’s it do again?”

Thor Frumm Asgard  Valhalla Web Master
“ My small tablet doesn’t have a touch screen,
it says “Tylenol” on it.”






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You send the image link with your email client to friends, I'm too freaking lazy.

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Screw ALL the people!!!

Magazine Covers, Bottle Labels, "Energy Drink", other crap

Monday, February 27, 2012


Android activates 850,000 units a day.


Internet (NNN)-- That’s nearly six million a week, or 25.5 million a month. Google now also has 450,000 apps in the Android Market.


What the Hell do you think?


Knoe Itall   Homework Denier
“More popular than the iPhone 4s?! Shit now I gotta get my mom to buy me one of those pieces of crap to look cool.”

Buck Rambo   Macho Nacho
 “To keep up with Android demand I heard Foxcon is increasing production of suicide jumper nets in their worker dorms."

Wan Tun Lust   Male Enhancement
“I once married an Android.”

Sven Svensson  Swedish Meatball 
“ I farted and a little google came out.”






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More "sites" (isn't one enough?):



You send the image link with your email client to friends, I'm too freaking lazy.

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Like I care. Regular people interviews. Aren't you regular?

Screw ALL the people!!!

Magazine Covers, Bottle Labels, "Energy Drink", other crap