Noble Peace Prize Winner first kills citizens with drone missile, then signs bill allowing for indefinite detention without trial.

Despite having fought against many of its provisions, President Obama signed a defense appropriations bill that allows the military to detain American citizens indefinitely. 

What the Hell do you think?

I. Dunno  Girl Crazy

“So that’s how he got to be president. Winning that prize!”

Pow R. Broker  Election Fixer

“The first citizen Obama should detain is his opponent in November’s election.”

Emily Forthwistle  Financial Elite Hooker

“Oh, I’ve played with his missile, if you know what I mean.”

Stout Ale Lager  Pickled Herring

“Indefinite detention or killing. Nobody cares. Least of all a piece of paper called the Constitution.”

Congressman apologizes for criticizing Michelle Obama’s ‘big butt’

A Republican congressman from Wisconsin has offered a personal apology to First Lady Michelle Obama after he was overheard at an airport lounge criticizing her “large posterior.” And at a Wisconsin church he told attendees that Obama has a “big butt”.

What the Hell do you think?

Huh What Idunno  Hormone Driven

“Who’s Obama?”

Pow R. Broker Politician Briber

“From what I heard on K Street, he was saying her ass wasn’t big enough for his taste.”

Bimbo DeLuxe Knits Chum Bucket Cozies and sell them online

“This is why the Prez signed the bill that let’s him kill citizens for sport.”

Oaky Doak Johnsson’s Frestelsa

“Big black butts scare me. That explains my unnatural fear of Al Sharpton.”

FDA issue warning to unconventional sperm donor

A man from the San Francisco Bay area has fathered 14 children in the last five years through free sperm donations to childless couples he meets on the Internet — and is now in trouble with the federal government. The 36-year-old has four more children on the way.

What the Hell do you think?

Undrr A. Cheever  School Floor

“Daddy?”

Buck Rambo Day Laborer

“When my free sperm donations results in a kid, I get hit with a paternity lawsuit. Of course, we’re both usually drunk.”

Lilly White Unicorn Hunter

“I go to clubs to receive my free sperm donations.”

Lute Fisk Swedish Swede

“And here I’ve been giving my sperm away to goats.”

Herman Cain reassessing presidential bid. Again.

Herman Cain is reportedly considering ending his presidential bid after fielding another charge of sexual impropriety Monday. 

What the Hell do you think?

Horn E. Guy  School Boy

“Wow. He had sex with someone besides himself. I’m in awe.”

.

Blurt Outloud Democratic Machine Operative

“That dickhead Obama is behind in the popularity polls. He needs to get some serious side coochie. And I don’t mean his skinny ass wife.”

.

Cranquee Woeman Uncritical Thinker

“Here I am willing to be his booty call. And Pizza Man had to pay to get a slice of that white.”

Anutha Nutcase One Percenter

“Crap. Another black man gets taken down by “The Man”….Wait…I’m the man…All riiiight!”

Elementary Students Given Naughty Novelties By School Officials

School administrators hoping to reward students for fund-raising efforts at a Florida elementary school unwittingly gave them X-rated bracelets. Students found pictures of naked women hidden beneath the bracelets’ cloth coverings. 

What the Hell do you think?

Thom Thumb Text Addict

“I’m a bracelet inspector. Do you have one with you?”

.

Blurt Outloud Ex-School Administrator

“I specifically told them kids not to undress the bracelets.”

.

Muffy Standoffish Willing Participant

“My guidance counselor gave me something like that in high school. That, and the clap.”

Anutha Nutcase Viking Wannabe

“This is why schools need to bring back spankings.”

Apple co-founder Wozniak in line at Apple store

With the new iPhone going on sale Friday he plans on staying overnight outside the at the Apple store in Los Gatos for the 8am sale time.

While he waits, he plans on getting caught up on his email and chatting with fans.

What the Hell do you think?

Lae Z. Mynd Professional Hacker

“I got my iPhone 4S at 7:59am. Take that Woz!”

.

Slim Margin iTech Ignorati

 “Right about now I bet he wishes there was an iToilet.”

.

Martha Abdullah Linkedin and Liking It.

 “First in line? Isn’t there an app for that?”

.

Thor Hushovd Sleep Walking Thru Life

 “He should use his connection with Jobs to get the phone early. He did? When? Really? Deleted?”

Wall Street protesters anger mayor.

Michael Bloomberg, the mayor of New York, charged demonstrators with “trying to take away the jobs of people working in this city.”

What the Hell do you think?

Will Hee Twitter Addict

“We’re stimulating the economy! Look at all the overtime pay for cops. Not to mention the increase in pepper spray sales.”

.

Sam Jenkins Politcal Hardliner

“The Dems should co-opt Occupy Wall Street. The way the Republicans co-opted the  Tea Party.”

.

Mindee Corporeal Go Getter

“Oh goody a crowd. I’ll handout my stock broker cards.”

Lars Drinkitupp Aquavit Importer

“Shit, I just woke up. I fell down drunk in the gutter here last night. Who are all these people and why do they have signs?”